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[wipeyourfeet]

This is Wesley Mitchell. Please leave a message.

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because being a dick goes both ways

[mynameonyourpanties]

Yo man,

if you're going to come home from guard duty so late at night, mind not shaking the bed trying to climb to the top bunk?

And while I'm at it, learn to stop kicking the banisters in your sleep.

goddamnit travis

[wipeyourfeet]

How else am I supposed to get up there?

I don't do that.

[Yeah he does.]

[mynameonyourpanties]

Yeah, you do.

Also why the hell do you get top bunk?

[wipeyourfeet]

Do not.

Because I called it.

[mynameonyourpanties]

No you didn't.

And because you didn't, I CALL TOP BUNK.

[because this is Travis being Travis.]

[wipeyourfeet]

YES I DID YOU LITTLE SHIT.

[ ]

[mynameonyourpanties]

WELL TOO BAD

[]

[wipeyourfeet]

[Wow that.... sends a bad message there. OR A GOOD ONE, depends on your view.] I will.... do something horrible if you don't leave my bunk alone.

[mynameonyourpanties]

Don't care. [Gonna hog the top bunk because you go to guard duty before bedtime mwahahhaha]

[wipeyourfeet]

I'm going to shove your ass off it when I get back.

[mynameonyourpanties]

I'd like to see you try. [gonna be hard to do that and not make it look gay]

[wipeyourfeet]

[He knows.] Well, you're going to see me do it if you get in my bunk.

[mynameonyourpanties]

Yeah yeah. Still taking the top bunk.

[wipeyourfeet]

Travis NO

How did this devolve into us being us and not them being them?

[mynameonyourpanties]

FUCK YOU I'M OLDER.

[inhumanity]

[A handwritten letter arrives at Wes's residence. The writing is flowing but legible cursive, but the writer periodically switches between red and green ink.

It's a Christmas greeting, all right.]

Dearest Wes,

You are most cordially invited to a celebration of family, friendship, forgiveness, and estrangement on December 17th from 3:00PM, or earlier, until whenever we feel like stopping, at [the address for the warehouse]. This season mustn't pass by without a grand affair full of of food and gift-giving, in the best of Christmas traditions.

Oh, but you don't have to bring gifts. There won't be any set gift-giving time. Besides, do you really want to give your friends presents so early? It's far better to make them wait until the 25th. Patience is an important quality to learn for the winter months. Of course, I'll prepare the food, unless you wish to contribute some. Please keep any amount of arsenic in food below fatal levels for human children!

In the spirit of Christmas and all ritualistic holidays designed to prepare communities for defence against a harsh winter of dangerous weather and low quantities of food, you are invited to bring anyone you feel like. While more people is a greater strain on resources, the contribution of any individual to the group balances that out with the warmth and love provided. Let's gather together and avoid a cruel death in the months to come.

Hoping for your presence and survival, your friend,
Christopher Chareau de Red

[post is here, tag in at your leisure or handwave or excuse yourself however you like!]

after they get christopher's letter; action

[mynameonyourpanties]

You're goin' to this party even if it means I have to drag you. Maybe you'll make a friend or two, get a girlfriend, something.

[wipeyourfeet]

I don't need any help in making friends. I have friends.

[Kind of. Sort of. Not really.]

[mynameonyourpanties]

Alex and the therapy group don't count, baby. They ain't here.

[mynameonyourpanties]

Now that I think of it, given we're like 1300 years in the future, Alex'd be nothing but a pile of bones.

[he fails to realize how this may upset you. SO SRY FOR YOUR LOSS]

[wipeyourfeet]

[Fuming] How sensitive of you.

[mynameonyourpanties]

What, it's not like she's really dead.

[wipeyourfeet]

I don't want to think of Alex! I don't want to think about her dead! Let's just drop that subject right now.

And I have other friends here.

[He's talked to them twice, he's bluffing.]

[mynameonyourpanties]

Name them.

[wipeyourfeet]

Ros. Doug. Plenty of other people.

Text + image because yay roommates

[small_berserker]

I was told that ugly sweaters were the best way to spread holiday spirit so I got you a present. I hope you like it.

[inhumanity]

[At some point between the beginning of the 24th and the end of the 25th, Christopher delivers (handed off in person or left at a doorstep) a Christmas gift: cleaning supplies. It is given with all the best Christmas wishes from a friend... who gave Travis things to make everything dirty.]

PRETEND THIS IS ANONYMOUS AND NOT FROM YOUR EX WIFE GODFUCKINGDAMMIT

[lawgal]

WOW ALEX THAT'S AWKWARD

[wipeyourfeet]

WHO THE HELL IS THIS? TRAVIS???

WELL NOT MY FAULT DW IS A SUCKFACE

[(Anonymous)]

No. 8D

[wipeyourfeet]

[God fucking damnit. He's really not sure and it's creepy.] Travis. Stop. I know it's you. How the hell did you know?